If Computer Errors Were Haikus

 Three things are certain:
 Death, taxes and lost data.
 Guess which has occurred.

 The file you need
 might be very useful.
 But now it is gone

 Windows NT crashed.
 I am the Blue Screen of Death.
 No one hears your screams.

 Yesterday it worked.
 Today it is not working.
 Windows is like that.

 Chaos reigns within.
 Reflect, repent, reboot.
 Order shall return.

 Wind catches lily,
 scattering petals to the ground.
 Segmentation fault.

 With searching comes loss
 and the presence of absence:
 File not found.


The Web site you seek
 cannot be located but
 endless others exist.

 You step in the stream,
 but the water has moved on.
 This page is not here.

 Stay the patient course.
 Of little worth is your ire.
 The network is down.

 No keyboard present.
 Press F1 to continue.
 Zen engineering.

 This site has moved.
 We'd tell you where, but then
 we'd have to delete you.

 First snow, then silence.
 This thousand dollar screen dies
 so beautifully.

 Printer not ready.
 Could be a fatal error.
 Have a pen handy?

Wikipedia Logo

You always wondered how was created the Wikipedia logo ?

Easy: You take the Star Wars Death Star. You add some “alphabet soup” and a puzzle. You divide the result by an encyclopedia and don’t forget the “www”. :-)

Gates and Windows

"In a world without fences and walls,who needs Gates and Windows."

How to protect your e-mail address book

A computer repairman says this is like having gold. This is a good thing. I learned a computer trick today that's really ingenious in its simplicity.

As you may know, when/if a worm virus gets into your computer it heads straight for your email address book, and sends itself to everyone in there, thus infecting all your friends and associates.

This trick won't keep the virus from getting into your computer, but it will stop it from using your address book to spread further, and it will alert you to the fact that the worm has gotten into your system.

Here's what you do:

First, open your address book and click on 'new contact,' just as you would do if you were adding a new friend to your list of email addresses. In the window where you would type your friend's first name, type in ' A'.

For the screen name or email address, type AAAAAAA@AAA.AAA

Now, here's what you've done and why it works: The 'name 'A' will be placed at the top of your address book as entry #1.

This will be where the worm will start in an effort to send itself to all your friends. When it tries to send itself to AAAAAAA@AAA.AAA, it will be undeliverable because of the phony email address you entered. If the first attempt fails (which it will because of the phony address), the worm goes no further and none of your friends will be infected.

Here's the second great advantage of this method: If an email cannot be delivered, you will be notified of this in your In Box almost immediately. Hence, if you ever get an email telling you that an email addressed to AAAAAAA@AAA.AAA could not be delivered, you know right away that you have the worm virus in your system. You can then take steps to get rid of it!

Pretty slick huh?

If everybody you know does this then you need not ever worry about opening mail from friends.

DO IT NOW and pass this post to all your friends.

MacBoot

Password Problem

David calls the Help Desk to complain that there's something wrong with his password.
No, it's not the usual caps-lock problem. 

"The problem is that whenever I type the password, it just shows stars," he says.

"Those asterisks are to protect you," the Help Desk technician explains,

"so if someone were standing behind you, they wouldn't be able to read your password." 

"Yeah," he says,

"but they show up even when there is no one standing behind me."

If The Matrix Used Windows !

Embarrassing Password

Many years ago I was acting as the system administrator for a test system in a large publicly held company.

Periodically I would receive a call from someone who had not accessed the system recently, forgot their password and locked themselves out trying to logon. I would look up their password and unlock the system for them and they would go on their merry way.

One day I received a call from a young lady who was in just such a predicament. I looked up her password and informed her that it was 'DOME' and, just to be playful, told her the price for me being gracious enough to unlock her sign-on was an explanation of the meaning of her password.

She became very embarrassed over the phone and pleaded that she could never reveal her secret. I of course replied that I would not give her system access until she did.

After negotiating for several minutes she finally acquiesced but made me promise to never reveal her password meaning to any of her colleagues to which I gladly agreed.

"Well, what does it mean?", I asked.

She hesitated and then replied, "It's two words."

Technology on Streets

Husband's Performace

Three women were sitting around talking about their husbands` performance as a lover. The first woman says, "My Husband works as a marriage counselor. He always buys me flowers and candy before we make love. I like that."

The second woman says, "My husband is a motorcycle mechanic. He likes to play rough and slaps me around sometimes. I kind of like that."

The third woman just shakes her head and says, "My husband works for Microsoft. He just sits on the edge of the bed and tells me how great it`s going to be when I get it."